The Cucky Country Votes!

An Election In A Cost of Thinking Crisis

Forgive me reader, for I have sinned. It has been 15 months since my last worthy contribution. Since then my sins include but are not limited to putting my seafood waste in the neighbours bin, failing to wave at a driver who let me change lanes and being arrested in Adelaide at gun point by mistake. I must also confess to hoping certain comedians are caught with cheese pizza¹ on their hard drives.

Do I sound healthy? I assure you I am, but I’m taking a big risk publishing this as it is my first missive since returning to practice law. And I don’t have an editor to tell me some of these jokes may be ill advised.

I write this from the mean streets of Fremantle, the West Oz port city home and traditional Labor Party stronghold. Beneath my office is a polling booth and the streets are littered with the corflutes of candidates of various parties displaying their stupid slogans and shit eating grins. Watching it all, I am very glad my Senate candidacy was terminated before it could be announced (funny story).

Royal Fumble: Dull Cuck v Lame Duck

If you set out to find two more insipid tip rats to lead the colony country, you’d be hard pressed to find two more dull and uninspiring people than P. Dutty and Albo. Poor old Albo. You ever look at a bloke and immediately think, “no wonder his wife left”? Then you look at P. Dutty and wonder why his wife hasn’t. Albo has all the spine of a bag of jellyfish, while P. Dutty looking like the egg Australians can’t afford, has the appeal of a towel encrusted with the juice of a democracy sausage Tim Wilson gobbled with a rent boy in the Parliament House prayer room.

I am not that old (physically) but in the years since I’ve been paying attention to politics, this has surely been the most vapid and vacuous election in Australian history, by a Welcome to Country Mile (booooo). I wonder why?

Sound opinions.

And look, I don’t want to have a go at the empowered and erudite left-wing female influencer brigade which feeds this demographic its information. It’s just too easy and for all their sins, there are some things we agree upon. And say what you will about the Instagram feminist commentators/sex toy vendors, like me they’re opposed to killing children for Lebensraum, and at least it is an ethos dude. But it does signify a generational tipping point, where the boomers are no longer the biggest voting bloc and the legacy media are no longer important. That’s a good thing.

We’re Not In ANZUS Anymore, Are We Dorothy?

After years of slavish adherence to the US, following them into Afghanistan, Iraq, supporting Ukraine, spending billions on joint strike fighters that never came and submarines that won’t get delivered, our ‘great and powerful’ friend rewarded us by imposing tariffs on our aluminium sector. Added to that was Donald and JD Vance’s infamous press conference with Ukrainian dictator Volodomir Zelensky, which prompted a discussion that has never been had in this country. Can we rely on the Yanks? John Curtin would say no, but it stirred some nationalist sentiment around the country and seemed to give Albo a bit more pep in his step.

It must be causing the policy nerds in DFAT & Defence a few headaches. The ANZUS treaty has been the bedrock of our defence policy since the 50’s and nobody in Canberra ever thought we would ever have to consider that Uncle Sam would abandon us. Interesting times ahead, especially if our friends up in Indonesia decide to allow Russian airbases on their turf.

Antisemitism: Seig Fail

Do you think the Zionist lobby has a slight bias against Labor? According to the zio-fascist lobby groups of the Executive Council of Australian Jewry and the Australian Jewish Association (whom together I call the CFMEJew) under Labor there has been a 6,000,000% increase in anti-semitic attacks since October 7th². Since then, the “hate media” have been looking for it in places it doesn’t exist and in the case of the Murdoch press, if they can’t find it, they’ll try and manufacture it. In January, The Weekend Australian thundered on the front page ‘Anti-Semitism on the ballot as Labor Splits’. The article referenced the December arson attack on the Adass Israel Synagogue in Melbourne, after which Turd Reich Israeli PM Bibi Netanyahu took to X to say this:

Shut up Cunt.

Now if there is one thing I can respect about Albo’s gubbermint, it’s their stance on this issue (and getting Julian Assange home). That’s not to say they haven’t engaged in some cringeworthy pandering to the zio-fascists. But the idea Labor is a haven for antisemitism is funny to me because I know my Strayan history and once upon a time the Labor Party was antisemitic, but not in the dapper Nuremburg way. Those days are long gone, but the way the CFMEJew and Murdoch/Stokes press carried on you’d be forgiven for thinking Frank Anstey and Jack Lang had been resurrected by the National Socialist Network to conduct pogroms in Caulfield.

The Latham Diaries of 1917.

All the tabloid driven hysteria culminated in the Dural caravan incident, where explosives and a note referencing the Great Jewish Synagogue were found. The Coalition jumped on it, citing it as an example of ‘what Netanyahu said’. The contemptible NSW Premier Chris Minns used the opportunity to rush through hate speech legislation in response to what he called a “potential mass casualty event”. However, since the Australian Federal Police revealed it to be a hoax by Mossad organised crime syndicates, antisemitic attacks seemed to have stopped…

Funny that.

P. Dutty: Covered in Comeuppance

It’s surely the worst campaign ever run by an opposition leader. Initially, the equation seemed simple. With the backing of Gina Rinehart, run a Trump style campaign and multiply that with the support of Murdoch & Stokes= P. Dutty in The Lodge. Ahh, the best laid plans of vice and men. The epic failure of P. Dutty’s Trumpian pastiche reminded me of what Australian architect Robin Boyd said in 1962 when he bemoaned our slavish imitation of the Seppos. “The most mesmerised imitators of America” he said, “always a trace of Australian accent and subtract a measure of sophistication, tending to transform Australia into a state that can be called Austerica”.³

Well he certainly subtracted any measure of sophistication the Trump campaign had. For many reasons it was never going to work. For a start, Hannah Dadsby Anthony Albanese is nowhere near as unpopular as Joe Biden. He can string a sentence together and his son isn’t a degenerate crackhead criminal (although he does work for KPMG). Secondly, P. Dutty is not a change candidate. Thirdly, the Trump brand had huge influence in the culture, particularly among comedians. Conversely, Albo and the Left more generally have dominated the cultural aspect of the election. Even the Tiger King himself Joe Exotic has thrown his support behind Albo (WTF), helping to secure the homosexual meth-head vote. Nobody of any relevance has endorsed P. Dutty. Nobody has even wanted to attempt an assassination. Unfortunately, the closest thing we got to assassination attempt was Albo falling off the stage.

Leaving P. Dutty’s personality and incompetence aside, had Trump not imposed tariffs upon us, let Elon Musk and the DOGE razor gang loose or threatened Canada with his bellicose rhetoric about annexation, he may have been a chance. To give you an idea of just how much of an effect post election Trump hurt the Conservatives, take a look at our Commonwealth cousins in Canada. After being way behind the polls, the party which allowed Infidel Castro Justin Trudeau 10 years at the helm replaced him with a central banker and rode to power on a wave of anti-Trump nationalist fervour.

I cannot remember an opposition leader being so widely reviled. In an election where they needed to win back voters in traditional blue ribbon seats like Kooyong and Curtin, I’m not sure how they thought a former copper from Queensland who amassed a property portfolio of $30 million with a history of racism was going to cut the mustard. In fact, my theory is that by allowing P. Dutty and the ultra Conservative rump of the party to have a go, the Libs are deliberately throwing the election as a strategy to permanently sideline that faction of the party.

Oh, Amelia(r)

The Golden Coat Hanger Award goes to the Liberal candidate for Kooyong, the irrepressible Amelia Hamer. Now look this is going to sound strange, but I must confess, I have a massive crush on her. She’s just my type. A born to rule bimbo scion from the mean streets of Kew who fell out of a 24 carat vagina straight into a discretionary trust. She worked her way from Priceline to Bank of America/Merrill Lynch into an advisory gig for a Senator and then got preselected to take on the most odious of the Teals, Dr Monique “Put your mask on” Ryan. She has campaigned on cost of living issues and housing affordability pretending that she is like many Australians her age a renter.

Problem is she FORGOT to declare that not only did she own an apartment in London, she also owned one in Canberra overlooking Parliament House. If you live in the leafy streets of Kew, it’s an easy mistake to make I suppose, so let he who is without a certificate of title or a distribution from the family trust cast the first stone.

Lessons from the West

Over here in the West, we’re a bit fatigued from election season, having just endured a State election, where the incumbent Labor government was returned under the leadership of Golden Triangle careerist douchebag, Roger Cook. The Liberals didn’t come back from the abyss, but they did gain Kerry Stokes’ errand boy Basil Zempilas as the new Liberal leader (by the slimmest of margins). It only took Baz 10 minutes to tell his first lie when in response to being asked about the nature of his relationship with Gina Rinehart:

“In regards to Ms Rinehart, I’ve attended a number of functions that she’s been at, but to suggest that our relationship is anything other than somebody high profile in Perth who might MC events or be at public functions… with that person- to suggest anything beyond that would be inaccurate”. ⁴

Well what is not inaccurate, is what Basil said to me via text in November 2024 about his wife Amy’s employment with Ms Rinehart:

“My wife doesn’t work for Gina. She did do a 9 month maternity leave cover contract. But that finished after the Olympics. And I’m not an MP. So what’s the issue?”

So there you have it folks. It’s perfectly legal for an oligarch to employ your significant other, so long as it’s BEFORE you become an MP. Some would say that’s a distinction without a difference.

Basil bashing aside, if there’s one thing Western Australia can teach the nation, it’s that why would the resource industry want a change in government? The Labor Party are the best Liberal government the mining industry ever had. You’ve gotta love the Labor Party. It’s the only organisation in the country where you can join as a radical trade unionist and leave as a board member at Rio Tinto.

But the Liberals are no chance to win, especially if the Australian Electoral Commission has done the same thing that the West Australian Electoral Commission did: outsource the democratic process to a foreign owned labour hire company with no experience running elections. Did I mention they were also a Labor Party donor?

You’d think some things, like elections are sacred and above being privatised. But in any event, it doesn’t matter who you vote for. The mining industry government always gets in. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have go load up the neighbours bin with prawns while he is handing out how to vote cards.

Good luck.

1. Cheese Pizza is slang for child porn.

2. I grossly inflated the number.

3. The Australian Ugliness, Robin Boyd (1962)

4. WA Today, 25 March 2025.